I love personality quizzes– L-O-V-E– so when my professor asked my class to take a personality quiz on love at the beginning of class I was more than happy to oblige. I was honestly shocked at how accurate my results were. In case you love quizzes (or want to know what type of lover you or your partner is) I’ve posted it below for you to take:
Instructions: Circle the numbers of the statements that you agree with. You may consider your ideal relationship or compare statement to the romantic relationship you are currently in.
- My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately after we first met.
- My lover and I have the right physical “chemistry” between us.
- I try to keep my lover a little uncertain about my commitment to him/her.
- I consider what a person is going to become in life before I commit myself to him/her.
- I would endure all things for the sake of my lover.
- When things aren’t going right between my lover and me, my stomach gets upset.
- I try to always help my lover through difficult times.
- I try to plan my life carefully before choosing a lover.
- It is hard to say exactly where friendship ends and love begins.
- Genuine love first requires caring for a while.
- I believe that what my lover doesn’t know about me won’t hurt him/her.
- I feel that my lover and I were meant for each other.
- Our lovemaking is very intense and satisfying.
- I have sometimes had to keep two of my lovers from finding out about each other.
- I expect to always be friends with the one I love.
- When my lover gets angry with me, I still love him/her fully and unconditionally.
- When my affairs break up, I get so depressed that I have even thought of suicide.
- An important factor in choosing a partner is whether or not she/he will be a good parent.
- The best kind of love grows out of a long friendship.
- I can get over love affairs pretty easily and quickly.
- My lover and I became emotionally involved rather quickly.
- My lover and I really understand each other.
- My most satisfying love relationships have developed from good friendships.
- I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let my lover achieve his/hers.
- Sometimes I get so excited about being in love that I can’t sleep.
- One consideration in choosing a partner is how she/he will reflect on my career.
- It is best to love someone with a similar background.
- My lover fits my ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness.
- My lover would get upset if she/he knew some of the things I’ve done with other people.
- When my lover gets too dependent on me, I want to back off a little.
- Our friendship merged gradually into love over time.
- Whatever I own is my lover’s to use as she/he chooses.
- When my lover doesn’t pay attention to me, I feel sick all over.
- A main consideration in choosing a lover is how she/he reflects on my family.
- When I am in love, I have trouble concentrating on anything else.
- I would rather suffer myself than let my lover suffer.
- Love is really a deep friendship, not a mysterious, mystical emotion.
- I enjoy playing the “game of love” with a number of different partners.
- Before getting very involved with anyone, I try to figure out how compatible his/her hereditary background is with mine incase we ever have children.
- I cannot relax if I suspect that my lover is with someone else.
- I cannot be happy unless I place my lover’s happiness before my own.
- If my lover ignores me for a while, I sometimes do stupid things to get his/her attention back.
Scoring Rubric: Take a look at the items you circled/agreed with. Say you circled #’s 9, 10, 23, 31, 37 – this means you have five numbers that agree with the love style “S,” a style that you highly identify with. That love style will be explained in detail in the lecture. Do this for all the items you circled. You should have scores for S, A, M, P, L, E. Often people are high in a couple, low in a couple, or mid range in all. This does not matter. It reflects your personal views on love. It will be covered in the lecture. Have someone else do this too!
Love style Item Number
S 9, 10, 15, 19, 23, 31, 37
A 5, 7, 16, 24, 32, 36, 41
M 6, 17, 25, 33, 35, 40, 42
P 4, 8, 18, 26, 27, 34, 39
L 3, 11, 14, 20, 29, 30, 38
E 1, 2, 12, 13, 21, 22, 28
If you circled this means
0 of that love type that you are nothing like this love style
1-2 you score low on this love style
3-4 you reflect some of this love style
5-6 this is your main love style that is likely to prevail in most situations/relationships
Most people identify with one main love style and have another that corresponds with a particular phase in life. It is possible to tie between two love styles.
S = Storge
A = Agapic
M = Manic
P = Pragma
L = Ludic
E = Eros
Storge: The Friendship Love
Storge love types believe that love is or should be a really deep friendship, not a mysterious, mystical emotion. Storge relationships are the most stable and are based on share values, goals, compatibility and friendship. Physical attraction is not as important as security, companionship, or enjoying the same activities together. Storge lovers are positive, steady and comfortable, and don’t experience intense emotional highs or lows.
Best TV or movie example: Marshall and Lily from How I Met Your Mother
Best Matches: Agapic, Storge, Pragma
Agapic: Selfless Love
Agapic love types are the ultimate givers. They put the needs of their lovers above their own. Agapic lovers are more focused on giving than receiving and possess a high concern for their partner’s well-being. The most sacrificing love type, Agapics will sacrifice their own desires and needs to make their partners happy because it brings them joy. Agapic lovers have to watch out for being taken advantage of or being emotionally manipulated.
Best TV or movie example: Marge from The Simpsons
Best Matches: Manic, Storge, Pragma; avoid Ludics
Manic: The Possessive Love
Manic love types are possessive, demanding, dependent and sometimes obsessive. Of all the love types, Manics are the most emotional and seek control in the relationships. Their life and happiness revolve around how their partner responds to them. Manics experience very high and low points depending upon the status of the relationship. Very romantic; a Manic’s life revolves around love.
Best TV or movie example: Mellie from Scandal
Best Matches: Agapic, Eros
Pragma: The Shopping List Love
Pragma loves are called “the shopping list lovers” because they’re always weighing the pros and cons of their current relationship and will leave their partner if a better fit presents itself. Pragmas do not believe that love is always enough and instead cognitively appreciate their partner’s qualities. A shared background is of value to a Pragma. Pragma relationships tend to last the longest.
Best Matches: Storge, Agapic, Pragma
Ludic: The Game Playing Love
Ludics are players. They’re skilled at managing multiple lovers at once, avoid commitment and prefer fun, playful and casual relationships. Ludics easily transfer affection from one person to another. The challenge of wooing someone is more rewarding to a Ludic than the relationship itself. As such, sex is not an indication of commitment. Ludics rarely disclose much about themselves and adhere to the principle of least interest.
Best TV or movie example: Barney from How I Met Your Mother
Eros: The Passionate Love
The Eros lover believes in love at first sight– and will tell you that they were attracted to their partner immediately after they met. Eros engage in intense, passionate relationships and as such experience intense emotional highs and lows. Unlike the Ludic, Eros engage in high levels of self-disclosure. Physical contact is important to an Eros, as are high levels of touch and nonverbal affection. Sexual intimacy often escalates quickly.
Best TV or movie example: Ted from How I Met Your Mother
Best Matches: Eros, Ludic, Manic
Which type are you? Do you think you’ve been different love types during different times in your life (usually you’re one your whole life with a secondary that changes). Can you guess which two I am?